Tonight I was pondering why love happens. Why is it that only one person in the world can make your heart beat fast? Is it just chemistry? Are we all destined to walk this planet wondering who the other half of us is. And what happens if we aren’t lucky to find the one that really is meant for us? What if we marry the wrong person? Now you know if you marry the wrong person that you are, also, going to end up miserable. Is that why people get divorced nowadays?
When my grandparents were born, there was no such thing as a divorce. Well if there was it was such an oddity. The couple were literally outcasts. I think the man could remarry but the woman she was blackballed. She had no future. If the man left her than she was responsible to bring up the children. But no one expected her to get married again.
Today divorce is more common than getting married. A lot of my single friends say why even bother. They can live together. Talk about a different society today.
Then there was the issue if you became a widow. Back then they thought that a widow was desperate. Funny how that seems to still be the case. People tend to shy away from someone that loses their spouse/fiance/boyfriend/significant other. The reason is that no one wants to be in that party. I know this for a fact. No one wants to think about what would happen if their significant other was no longer there. The widow(er) becomes the image that they do not want to think of. So they are avoided at all costs.
Of course, you know the other issue is that no one knows how to act around someone that has lost their significant other. Do you ask how they are? Do you say that it’s for the best? Well let me tell you don’t say it’s for the best. I heard that more time than I can remember when Michael died. I say it myself now but that is me saying it. Remember the old saying, you can say something about your own sister but nobody else had better say the same thing.
So what about you. Did you find your significant other? I’ve been fortunate enough to have found my love twice in my lifetime.
Facebook
Twitter
RSS
LinkedIn
Interesting to think about. I don’t believe in soul mates, but I definitely think some people are better suited for each other than some. I’ve been married 7 years, and already, friends who got married around the same time are divorced! I think people just don’t work as hard at staying together as they did back in the old days. It’s so easy and accepted to get a divorce these days!! You are fortunate to have found two loves, good for you!! ; )
Some people say opposites attract, but in my husband I’ve found someone who’s more like me than anyone else I know.
I can’t believe people would want to do anything other than support someone who has lost their spouse. Surely there is no more important time to prove that you’re a good friend!
Interesting post.
I am following you back. Love your blog!
Kristyn
Opinions of a Moody Mama
http://opinionsofamoodymama.blogspot.com
Thanks for stopping by my blog. Hope you had a great weekend.
Definitely an interesting topic! I know I found my significant other. We complement each other well, he is a strong and caring man, very faithful, dedicated, hardworking and loving and I couldn’t ask for a better father for my girls. Marriage is work and I don’t think people today really want to work hard at anything.
I’m a believer in the “love is a choice” philosophy. I may not always feel like i’m “in love” with my husband and he may not always feel it either, but I make a choice to love him anyway! And he does the same. When we put each other first, our marriage is stronger.
I am happy and lucky to have married a man who has the same feelings about marriage and divorce that I do (if we weren’t like minded it would be 10 times harder). Divorce isn’t an option for us! We made a commitment for life. We too have friends married as long as we are who are now divorced. It’s so sad.
As far as the widow(er) thing goes, you’re right that no one wants to think about–especially those who are happily married. I’m not sure what I would do and my heart breaks for anyone who experiences it.
Great post, I think that I agree with Ashley when she says that it seems like people don’t work as hard as staying together like they used to. My great grandparents have been married for over 50 years!
I caught my husband on a fishing trip, literally. You never know when the right one will come along and I’m living proof. After getting dumped by the guy I thought I would end up marrying, the last thing on my mind was finding someone else. I went fishing with my dad and this little game warden stopped by to measure our fish (making sure they were legal). Other than the fact I thought he looked nice in his Levi’s, I didn’t give it much thought. Next thing I knew, he was calling the house and asking me out to dinner. That was 23 years ago and in May we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Real love choses when it wants to happen, we don’t tell it when to happen. (Did that sound as corny to everyone else as it does to me? LOL)
There lots of talk about love at first sight and soul mates.
I did find my significant other and love him more then words can say, but it was not love at first sight and I never though we were soul mates.We are just two people who who clicked and slowly fell in love 17 years ago.
what a great post i agree
i am also fortunate to have found my other half 
Feel free to visit me here:
Life Can’t Wait and Up Now and What’s Next
This is a great post because it really is so very true-Society is WAY different then it was 40, 50, 60 years ago. Some of it for the better, some for the worse, some just neutral.
I have not been lucky enough to find love yet and truth be told, unlike most girls my age, I’m not looking for it. I have so much I want to do with my life before I settle down-Heck, I may never settle down. LOL
I am extremely happy for those who have found their loves, though!
It is indeed a different world back then with very little distractions. It was much harder to meet people or stray. Women were not in the workplace, no Facebook, no texting.
I think there are a lot of people we are chemically compatible with, but not that many that we feel we are made for. AND I believe what another commenter said, it has to be a choice, and divorce can not be an option.
I had to learn the hard way. Two failed marriages later….good news is I’m engaged and this time I know who I am so I can make better decisions about love for the right reasons.
Love is tough! My best advice is to be secure in your singleness and the right one will compliment you.
I met my husband when I wasn’t looking at all! He comes from a divorced family ( a few times over) and my parents are still together…I think we both entered marriage with our eyes wide open..I never expected it to always be easy. We talk, we get mad, but we are committed.
Yes a great post, found mine 25 years of marriage. Isn’t love grand!
I agree with Christine that people today don’t really want to work hard at anything.
Thanks for following me through Friday Follow, I’m doing the same for you!
Very interesting post. I’m married to my best friend and that makes it easier on days when being married is hard.
I REALLY want to believe in soul mates, but I think it has to do more with what personalities fit. I happened to find a supportive man that can piss me off like no other….and he is exactly like my step dad who I treasure, and nothing like my father that I hate. And I can tell you, with all of the baggage, there are very few that would be able to put up with me….certainly none that I have ever dated…not for the long run at least.
I have met the love of my life, but if it wasn’t him, I probably could have fallen in love with someone else. I think there are probably a number of people roaming the world that we could be compatible with. I think that falling in love is something chemical in the brain and staying in love is a conscious decision we make. I have been with the same man since I was 18 years old…so that’s a long time. There is effort involved in staying in love. Both parties have to work to not drift apart. But it’s worth it. You’ve found love twice, so you know what I’m talking about
This post is beyond awesome. I am always wondering what to do and what not to do so I will follow some of these tips.
I agree with Elisabeth and Christine that people want everything the easy way, like instant food. and relationships are all about working hard to keep them strong, especially marriage. it is great that there are wonderful long enduring marriages still in this world.
Are you a professional journalist? You write very well.
I love the way you sound so passionate about what you are writing. Keep up the great work!
Interesting…and I agree with all of it. Keep up the good work…I will certainly be back soon
it is rare that somebody has something appealing to say about this. I will be watching for more!
I find myself coming to your blog more and more often to the point where my visits are almost daily now!
Cool post I will continue to look out for anymore of your future posts.
Love your post. This is great information, and I’m really glad I found it. Keep up the superb work.
The blog was absolutely fantastic! Lots of great information and inspiration, both of which we all need!
Awesome post, I’m a huge believer in commenting on blogs and forums to assist the blog creators know that they have created something of worth to the cyberspace!
Wow! what an idea ! What a concept ! Beautiful .. Amazing ?