Lately,I’ve been very distracted and totally not focused on what is going on. I guess that I’ve been suffering through a mild case of depression. I now realized that its coming across in everything that I am doing. I know that we all go through moments like this. But I need to start making my life less complicated.
I need to become that carefree girl I was before my sister and I started fighting back in October. I guess you could call it fighting but then I guess not. We have communicated once in person through email. We both decided that we were not willing to compromise. While I love my sister and I miss her terribly,I can’t continue to try to meet her standards of life. I can’t belittle who I am at the same time. What happened between her husband and myself should not have affected my lifelong relationship with my sister but it has. She has disowned me now. So I’m going to get my life back on track. That means that I might not be posting every day. I’m going to do more stuff with my kids. I let everything become to overwhelming. Quite honestly I forgot that writing was fun. It became hard to write at all. I didn’t want to go visit because of the same thing.
As this was all occurring,I picked up a book called “Keeping Life Simply”by Karen Levine. She says there are seven guiding principles that she lives her life by. They are:
#1- Relax your standards
#2 –Free yourself from stereotypical roles
#3 –Take time to figure out what you find most satisfying
#4 –Create time for the things you care about.
#5 –Learn to enjoy what’s in front of you
#6 –Learn to be flexible
#7 –Prioritize
So how do these apply to me?
#1 –Relax your standards
Well this one is really easy. I need to stop trying to make sure everything is perfect. I had Easter here at the house with Monkeyboy’s birthday party thrown in there. I had over 30 people in my house and quite frankly I was on nerves for two weeks because of it. I forgot that the party was to have fun. We had 96 Easter eggs that were hidden for the kids to find,a good Easter dinner,4 wheeler rides,cake and presents. We had lots of friends and family with laughter and tears. But yet I was too worried about this being right or that being wrong. I am hereby NOT doing that anymore. My house is lived in so be it.
#2 –Free yourself from stereotypical roles
Well this is easy.. I’m a mother,sister,aunt,writer,daughter,grand daughter,niece,cook,recruiter,chauffeur,babysitter,house cleaner,and on and on. WOW that made me tired just typing it. So free myself from stereotypical roles.. ok I’m not the perfect mom.. my kids had cereal for dinner the other night and I’m ok with it. Well being a sister just went out the door. I’m a good aunt but I could be better.
But what they meant was to take out the stereotypical parts. I am so not like Martha Stewart. I’m me. I like writing. I don’t like cleaning. My house isn’t perfect.
#3 –Take time to figure out what you find most satisfying
Well lately I haven’t known what was most satisfying. I’m fighting with Monkeyboy constantly but is it because he is sensing my mood? I need to change it.
#4 –Create time for the things you care about.
I’m going to be creating more time for my family and get me more in line. Then I can focus again. Right now I need to just create time for fun.
#5 –Learn to enjoy what’s in front of you
Well I haven’t been doing this apparently. I have two precious kids to be with. I have a loving husband who thinks I’m going insane. Its time that I focus on us again.
#6 –Learn to be flexible
I’m actually not sure what this means. But I’ll find out.
#7 –Prioritize
I’m going to find out what needs to be prioritized again and get it right.
Note: I have not read the book only did it off the principles so don’t hold the writer accountable.
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I don’t know you very well yet,so I am not sure what has happened. But I am glad to read you will be taking the necessary steps to make some changes. The guiding principles really hit home,especially #1.
good luck! and us readers will be ok if you don’t post everyday
welcome to the world of depression. it sucks. and yes….sleep sleep and more sleep is often a symptom at it’s worst i slept 21-23 hours a day for several months…waking only to pee,take a drink of water,eat some chocolate or smoke a cig. was the only time in my life i’ve fallen asleep smoking and caught my blanket on fire. was the worst time in my life,physically,i ever had.
nifty post
thanks!
Depression makes you lose who you are and focusing on what made/makes you happy will help to get you back on track. I found that therapy was a little bit helpful,but it does take time to pull yourself up and dust off! So good luck with your journey and you’re definitely on the right path.
It is so easy to fall into a bad routine in life with laundry,housework…just the daily grind of life. All of this can become so routine that we forget what’s truly important. My husband and I have to work hard at keeping in touch with each other because by the the end of the day,we are so tired and it’s easy to put our relationship on the backburner,along with so many other things. I’ve been ‘stuck in a rut’before and it felt alot like depression. It just took me learning to enjoy the small things in life and not worry so much about anything else. I always try to keep in mind that we are never promised tomorrow,so we should learn to nurture the relationships that are important to us. That should always come first. Take some time to yourself and we will gladly wait for your return!
I read your blog frequently and I just thought I’d say keep up the good work!
Great post! I think everyone would be a lot happier if they lived by these rules!
I’m sorry. I wish you success and happiness. I will pray for you and your family. ((HUGS))
I am so sorry to hear about that. One day soon I will email you….because I have been through a lot that is similar,and recently. Though it often starts to feel like it is just me,I am now realizing that I guess in a way it is. Because I am stronger than some others. And I won’t let myself or my family be treated poorly. But we will talk soon!
I wish I could get it all figured out. I hope you do!!! I’m terribly sorry that the struggle with your sister is weighing on you so heavily. (((hugs)))
Great post! I will be thinking of you. One thing I wrote about last week that may be a metaphor for what you’re going through right now. “Just when the caterpillar thought life was over,it became a butterfly.”Things will get better…it just doesn’t seem like it right now.
I wish you the best!!
Tami,My prayers are with you. I think every family has some Drama in there lives. I choose now at the age of 48 to live Drama free. If there are certain family members in your life that don’t agree with the way you live.. Let go and let God work for you and your Family…Remember you must let the Drama go and know in your heart that God is working in the bad times as well as the good times. And there is a reason for everything he has in store for us. I’am sure at some point when things cool down. Your sister and you can work out your problems…I will keep you in my daily prayers…. And don’t worry if you have to take a break in blogging. We will be here when your ready to blog again.. Just take your time and put your family and God first…. Hugs to you! Shirley
Will love these tips,thanks for the info
kim
I’m sorry you are having difficulties with your sister…(((HUGS)))) I hope that eventually your difficuties can be worked out…sometimes it is best to not talk,and just let things rest …after a time..sometimes things get better…I just had a year rift with my oldest daughter over a misunderstanding…things are finally starting to get back to normal,but I just decided not to talk about the problem after a while,since we both couldn’t agree on what happened…I really appreciated your post. Our houses are all dirty,and with kids,nothing is perfect…BTW…my kids have cereal for supper sometimes too..
Found you on Friday FF! Hope you have a great weekend!
Tami,Wonderful and heartfelt post. I just recently started talking to my twin sister again after a year long “break”during which time we both disowned each other for various reasons. Hang in there and take care of yourself. Although things may never be the same,healing will come. It may mean that your sister is not a part of your life but it doesn’t mean that you cannot love from afar. My thoughts are with you all. Take care.
I can relate very well to your post. I need to center myself again. The weather is getting nicer and I find that helps a lot. I find it so hard to get everything done that I want to do in a day and then by the end of it,I’m just so exhausted that I do everything else half assed.
Depression I think plays a part as well. I need more sun and less sitting in front of the computer! Hang in there.
Im following you from Friday Followers. I love this post,great ideas about being positive and putting family first in your life.
Hope everything gets better for you.
Hang in there!
Melissa
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Now you’re making me jealous .