My son brought home a pink slip from school the other day.  The pink slip in our school is kind of a behavior program.  They have the following colors:

Dark Green –For children that pretty much are good all day.  Also,means Goo Goo Goo

Light Green –For children that make act up once all day.  Also,means…Keep on going

Red –For children that are acting up quite a bit.  Also,means Stop look around switch your attitude back to Green

Yellow –For children that have acted up most of the day…Also,means Caution

Pink –For children that have really acted up all day…Also,means Report to the Principal.. This behavior includes fights,pushing,bullying,etc.

You can,also,work yourself back up the color scale.  So if you start out with a pink by the end of the day if you have been good all day you might make it back to light green.

So you can imagine when he brought home a pink,I was not happy about it.   I knew without a doubt that he had been bad the entire day.  He didn’t try to bring himself back up. 

He had talked back to the teacher.  Pushed a child.  Didn’t follow instructions.  And the list goes on.

I asked him quietly,“What did you do?”

“Mommy,I was good.  The other child pushed me.”

“How did he push you?”

“Mommy,I don’t know.”he responded.  He was not looking me in the eye.  Usually that means he’s fibbing.

“Ok,baby,let’s try to figure out how he did.  Was he behind you?”

“No,mommy,he was in front of me.”he said.

“Well,how did he push you then?”

“Mom,he pushed me with his butt going backwards.”

Now what do I say?  Do I tell him he’s lying to me?  Do I believe him?  Right now,I don’t think I do.  He’s been getting into a lot of trouble in the last three months.  He is now failing his school work and I am putting him in therapy.  Remember,he came through foster care to me.  I’m at a loss of what to do.  I can’t get him into therapy until next Friday.

The principal called me that night.  She explained the situation to me.  No teacher saw the fight.  It happened in the lunch room where I thought there was monitors but not in this moment.  They caught my son with his fist drawn back to punch the kid.  The other kid had grabbed his other hand and pulled it behind his back to stop him.  Both children were hysterical.

Unfortunately,the golden rule in my house is no fighting at school.  My son is grounded for a week.  Usually I do the six minutes when you are bad because of his age but when it affects his future in this degree I do ground.  Probably bad.

What would you do?

photo credit:James Bowe

Happy Halloween!

I hope you have a great one!

With all the goblins and ghosts

Witches and Warlocks

Spiders and Bats

Keep Safe!

photo credit:woordenaar

I want to talk about bullying.  I’ve been facing it here at home with my first grader.  He has been being bullied by the next door neighbor girl who is in fifth grade.  I believed everything was cozy and friendly until I saw my lovely truancy officer that stays at the school at the end of our street.  He was parking there for like two hours waiting as I was to find out for my kid’s school bus.

I went down when I realized that he was talking with them.  Wondered what was up.  I was told that it had been reported to school that someone was picking on someone else.  The next door neighbor (the bully) said that it was probably the 4th grader who called about her.  They have been fighting on and off for years.  Then it was discussed that my son was throwing things…sticks and one day newspapers.  My son said that he would stop.  I said I would put an end to our end and we would wait up the road a little bit for the bus.  The next door neighbor asked if she could stay with us so that there would be no problems.  Problem solved,right?

Unfortunately,no it wasn’t.  The next morning the officer was out there to talk to the kids that had not been present.  As they talked,it was discussed again about my son’s being picked on not only by my daughter but the next door neighbor.

As soon as the bus pulled away,the neighborhood bus mom came out.  I call her that because she lives at the end of the street where the bus stop is.  She told me that the kids had been complaining to her because the fifth grader had been picking on my son.  She,also,told me that my daughter was doing so as well.

Yes,I agree my son did have some involvement in this debacle.  But he is a first grader and she is in fifth grade.  She knows better.  He picked up a newspaper one day and threw it.  The newspaper hit her.  I don’t know if this was deliberate or not.  What we now know though is that she picked up the newspaper and proceeded to beat my son with it.    Two adults had to call her off of him.  They screamed it at her and were on the way to stop it.

When I found out all of this,I decided that my kids would no longer ride the bus.  Something of which they both love.  My son started acting up in the school.  I’m still trying to resolve this.

Did you know that in most states that there are bullying laws now?  Our school is legally responsible for that bus stop when it is a bus stop.  I talked with the counselor.  I talked with the officer and it finally came down to the fact that we are next door neighbors.  It did involve my daughter as well.  They don’t believe that this situation is in their hands.  I am fighting daily to find better solutions for my son.

Bullies can come in all shapes and sizes. They are basically looking to make themselves feel better by taking advantage of another student. They will typically taunt and tease their target before they begin to physically hurt them. It usually starts out small and develops into something worse if you do not catch it.

Some warning signs that your child might be being bullied are:

• Damaged or missing items such as clothing,books,etc.
• Unexplained injuries or bruises
• Complains of feeling sick or stomach aches constantly
• Has bad dreams frequently
• Changes their eating habits
• Hurt themselves
• Is afraid to participate in things with other peers
• Is afraid to ride the bus
• Does poorly in school
• Appears sad,moody or depressed

Some things that you can do to help your child are:

• Talk with your child about what is going on. Don’t let them keep it bottled up. Do not force them to share though.
• Do not try to get even with the child’s parents. Take the necessary steps to get it correctly. Try to talk to the officials at school.
• Talk with your child about how to react to bullies. They tend to look for kids that get upset about it. Let them know its ok to laugh it off and walk away. Teach them to talk with you after.
• Support your child. I can not stress that enough. Make sure that your child is aware that you are behind them. That you will take steps to protect them.
• Find something that your child is good at and praise them. It must be sincere or they will know.
• If you can remove the situation that it happens in,do so. For instance,I am now taking my children to school to avoid the child that is picking on my son. This is helping to make my child feel secure in his world again.

Please do not take this as a small matter;it can affect your child’s life for the rest of time. Talk with your child. Get them professional help. Do not forget to speak to the school and see what the next steps are.

P.s.  I will talking about my daughter’s involvement later on.  There is more to it then just siblings.

If you were invisible,where would you go?  I was thinking about this question the other day.  If I was invisible,I would go to my kid’s school.  I’d go to each of their rooms and simply watch them.  I love watching my kids when they don’t realize I’m doing so.  Do you think they would get the sense that I was there?  They always tell me I have eyes in the back of my head.  I’d like to see and hear what they say about their homelife.  Then again would I?

I’d go to work with my husband to see what he actually did.  I’d be bored to tears but I’d like to know.  He can’t really tell me.  I don’t get it.  Alright maybe I don’t want to go get it.  But it would be interesting to see it.  With my luck,he’d probably end up working in a sewer that day.

I’d go check on family members…Honestly I don’t think it would be that fun.  But then I’d be game.  If you are invisible,you would miss out on all the hugs and kisses.  That would be a sad day for me.

 
photo credit:B Rosen