It’s Monday again which means I am going to join the “Monday’s Music Moves Me” hop.  Last week I really enjoyed it.  Although, I had no clue that there was a theme.  This week I do. Always have run by my own horse.  I’ve been reading XmasDolly’s site for a while now.  Congrats to her for moving to her own site!!  That’s a big move, Dolly.  Congrats!  By the way, check her out I think you will love her as much as I do.

This week’s theme was chosen by The Cave Man, who suggested that we find music that tells a story of your life.  This can be a single all-encompassing piece of music, or you can cut together several pieces, each that are about part of who you are and/or how you discovered music.

So this is really going to be an interesting post for me since my life is not your typical straight path.  And here we go… I hope you enjoy the ride.

I guess we need to start when I was born or maybe before.  My parents went to see the movie, Tammy and the Bachelor

I grew up just like everybody else.  I lived in Ohio most of my life with a short stint in California where I was a blonde.  Why my mom and dad had to bring me back to the cold side of the U.S.  I have no clue.  When I was a teenager, I met and fell in love with my first  husband, Michael.  That was a really rocky time.  Michael was a wonderful guy but he was a little wild.  I was a crazy kid who just had her first taste of freedom from a tyrannical father.  For the next six years, I watched as my husband suffered through diabetes.  There was love abound though.  I worked two jobs and basically lived at the hospital with him during the off time.  After he passed away, I was a lady down on love like Alabama sings.

I was only 23 years old. I didn’t know what life was about but here I had learned the things someone very old knew way too young. I learned to appreciate what you have because you never know when it will be gone. I learned that nothing is forever. It can be taken away from you in a moment’s notice. I learned to love with no barriers. But I, also, learned to hide that part after Michael passed away. I went a bit crazy after he died. I became that single lady that just didn’t have anything to live for. Which made me a bit of a danger. I knew that I would never have kids and saw no reason to get married.

Then I met my husband, Ken. I thought of him as a toy boy to play with. My husband is ten years younger than me. Boy, he had different ideas than me.

He wanted to get married and I saw no reason. I can’t have kids. Whats the point I thought. But I said yes because by then I was in love with him. Even though I always knew that I would still love my first husband as well. Ken was ok with that. The first one that ever got that Michael would always be part of me.

As it turns out, we now have my two wonderful kids, Faith and Jason and life couldn’t be better. Well, obviously, I’d rather than my son didn’t have special needs but it is what it is. I have my dream. I have my two kids, husband, dog and cat as well as our little house. We have it all. Oh we don’t have money big time or anything like that. What we have is love. We have those things that are priceless. So now my song is:

Now if you would like to join the hop, please do by jumping over to Xmas Dolly and do the following:

Rules:
1. You Tube, lock & load!
2. Grab “Monday’s Music Moves Me” Button (side bar).
3. SIGN LINKY, Follow us, & leave a Rockin’ comment!

Have fun!

Winter makes me miss my sister even more because of the fact she won’t come back when its bad weather.

Last month if you had asked me I would have told you that I didn’t rely on my husband to be around that much.  I would have been wrong.  Oh we rely on him to bring in the money and to be here when he takes the kids so I can get that much needed rest but I thought we were miles apart.  I thought I was only depending on myself.  I was wrong.  I began to take my husband’s being there as just something that was.  I knew that he would never leave us.  I knew that he loved us.  I wouldn’t say that I love his parenting but then what spouse really does?  He’s dependable, loyal and loving.  Though in some areas of the loving we don’t get there much with all the demands of the kids.  And I’m not talking about this part on a PG blog.

This week, I watched as my husband laid in that hospital bed and my heart leaped into my throat.  I’d been here before I kept saying myself.  I was thrown back to a time almost thirty  years ago when my first husband was so sick.  I was paralyzed with fear.  I didn’t know how to cope with this situation.  The doctor came in to tell us that he thought that my husband might have blood clots in his legs.   How could this be happening to him?  I asked myself.  He’s 37 years old.  He’s not old enough to have clots.  Well, he does.  The emergency doctor ran a simple test and told us that he would be spending the night there in the hospital.  At that moment, I was glad that my niece had picked up the kids so that I could somehow keep myself together for my husband.  He had a fever of 100.3 when we arrived before long it rose to 100.8.  Then we found out his sugar was at 324.  That’s high and it put my fear in deeper.  They had to give him insulin.  I was scared that I was watching my own personal horror story.  Could I do this again?  I wondered.  I had been so young when my first husband was ill.  I didn’t believe someone could die.  Now it’s a fact in my head.

The doctor in the emergency room told us that they would probably keep Ken in the hospital for three to four days and then all would be good.  The next morning they told my husband that he could go home and take his shots at  home.  Are you kidding me?  The emergency doctor had stressed to us how important his getting the medicine was and just  how dangerous it was for my husband.  Those clots can move up your body.  They moved from his knee to the upper part of his thigh.  They can move to his lungs or even his heart.  But yet because he’s young they are sending him home.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know how to fight it.  And it happened Ken came home from the hospital with shots.  Ken wanted me to give him those shots…  There is no way I can do it.  I did it the first go around.  Now they fill me with terror.  I can’t do it.  So Ken has to give them to himself.

As the week wore on, my fears and anxiety slipped away to reveal the biggest part of me.  The part that remembers how much I love my husband of eleven years this weekend.

I love  you sweetheart.

Happy Valentines Day to all.  I hope you share it with someone you love.

Jason has autism.  He was diagnosed finally.  He has high performance autism which is a lot better than low performance.  I thought I would share a few things from his report.

Jason has difficulty making and maintaining eye contact.  Jason did not attempt to initiate social interaction with the examiner other than personal demands or about his own interests.

Jason described a difficult relationship with his sister but was unable to describe his own faults in the relationship.

When asked what being a friend meant to him, he reported that he did not know but thought that a friend was anyone who would play with him.

When asked how a friend is different from someone whom you just go to school with, he stated “Because they were a different colored shirt.”

He reported that he was never lonely unless he was in his room and not allowed to come out, and he didn’t think that other kids his age ever felt lonely.

As you can see, Jason doesn’t think like maybe you or I do but he is intelligent.  He just sees things differently and he will be successful in his own way.  It may not be what I expected for him and then again he may go farther than I expected too.

Every day is a challenge and then sometimes things happen and you expect the worst and it it alright.  When Kenny went into the hospital, I expected a melt down from Jason but instead since he does not connect in these situations he was perfectly fine.  That helped the situation.  Every day there is a bright light I just have to keep finding them.