Once upon a time,I was going through the foster care program to get my son out of it since his biological mother lost him at three months of age.  I could only hope last week that the kids next door would be at least together.  I worried about them a lot since.  Sounds strange seeing as the daughter was my daughter’s bully but still I did worry.  Were they together?  Were they alright?  What it must feel like to lose everything you have ever owned?  Can you imagine?  Those things are important to kids at that age.   How are the drugs going to affect the kids?  I’ve done lots of research about meth since they were busted as well.  Such nasty stuff.  One of their friends was blowing the stuff into the son’s face.  Literally he would take a puff and turn around and blow it into the kids face.  I thank God every day that I was smart enough not to allow my kids to go over there.  That I enforce such rules upon my children has been mentioned in the past that I am extreme.  Well this shows that I am right to do so.  Who else but a parent will protect them?  For years before she started bullying,I was trying to stop her from playing with my daughter.  What does someone three years older need to do with my daughter?  I would ask.  She’s learning too many things that my child doesn’t need to know.  I mean.. come on when my daughter was in kindergarten the girl came over to tell  her about kissing her first boyfriend and how she didn’t like it.  No kindergartner needs to hear that.  Let alone me.

Yesterday,the grandmother was next door getting stuff out of the house.  I still don’t get that at all.  The stuff should have been all contaminated but I understand why they wanted it.  The cops were even telling them that they weren’t allowed in the house but what can they do since they are in-technically the land owner.  Son is in jail so that makes them in-technically.  Actually the bank owns it and was out last week to take pictures.  Boy I felt sorry for that man when he had to report back to the bank that it was a meth house.  The research I found said that it can cost anywhere between five thousand to one hundred fifty thousand dollars to clean the house.  That people have moved into meth houses without being aware and have died that night because the new home owner had heart problems.  That is a fact.

Anyway,I found out that the kids are together still.  The grandmother has not been able to get them.  She did attend a court hearing and will have another hearing at the end of March.  She was guardian of them before this happened.  So why didn’t she have them?  I’m sure the court is wondering.  The kids like their foster parents.  Who wouldn’t after having lived through what they did?

Will keep you updated.

 photo credit:slightly everything

I’m sitting at the local Ihop waiting for my mother to get here to have breakfast with me.  She’s always late coming in.  I realized that I saved this blog for another year so I will be writing again.  It won’t be like it was before but in some ways it will be.  Talk later here she comes.

The definition of validation in The Free Dictionary.com is

val·i·date (vl-dt)
tr.v. val·i·dat·ed,val·i·dat·ing,val·i·dates
1. To declare or make legally valid.
2. To mark with an indication of official sanction.
3. To establish the soundness of;corroborate.

Since Jason came into the house,I have had everyone tell me that I treat him different than Faith. I couldn’t agree more but it wasn’t said in a nice fashion. I’m too strict on him. or I need to think about how he is reacting. or You should treat him like you do Faith. 

I’ve always explained that I have to treat him differently.  I have to treat him according to the fact that he did come through foster care.  That he did have three mothers and families before me.  That he doesn’t know the rules of the house.  That he is younger than Faith.

Jason came with preconceived rules.  He came with the rules from the three previous houses.  He didn’t know that our house would be different then theirs.  As I was in the parenting class,I learned that everyone’s house rules are probably different.  Some similar and some not so similar.  For instance,picking up toys is an requirement where someone with a two year old might have it as a rule.  My kids are older so their roles are different than that.

Unfortunately for me,because I was always told that I was treating him wrong.  Because people always said that I treated him differently than Faith (which I totally agree with but not in the negative sense they meant).  I felt guilty for the difference.  Sometimes it even made me feel like a bad mom because Jason doesn’t listen.

Jason has emotional problems and he needs a different kind of parenting.  He started seeing the therapist this week as I’ve mentioned before.  The therapist told me in the first meeting which I’m not counting as the first one that I have to treat him differently.  That you can not treat any two children the same.  He didn’t understand why another mother who has two children doesn’t know this.  He guarantees me that those children were treated differently. 

Do you know what this did for me?

It validated what I was doing with my son in my head.  Yes it gave me peace.   It gave me a sense of rightness.  That I was doing what was right by my child.

To those of you who hear the same thing.  I hope this helps.

photo credit:Biys || .S.Y.I.B.L.I.

Sometimes,when I look at my children,I say to myself ~~”Lillian,you should have remained a virgin.”

–Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog:“No good in a bed,but fine against a wall.”  —Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week,I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister,and now wish to withdraw that statement.  —Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.  —George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.  —Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.  —Mark Twain

By all means,marry. If you get a good wife,you’ll become happy;if you get  a bad one,you’ll become a philosopher.  —Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.  —Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.  —Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.  —Zsa Zsa Gabor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups:alcohol,caffeine,sugar and fat.  —Alex Levine

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery,people would stop dying.  —Rodney Dangerfield

Money can’t buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.  —Spike Milligan

Hope this gives you a giggle or two.