I was talking to my husband the other day and asked him what he would tell a new father if he had the chance.  He wasn’t as upfront as I would have liked but he had some great suggestions that I will try to expand on them.

1. Get over the idea that you will not change diapers.  You will.  Be flexible about things around the house as well.  Do some of the cooking or cleaning.  Offer to babysit so that your wife can get out of the house.
2. Buy a good backpack.  You will always have to have something for your children to do.  Or a diaper to change.  He thinks that the people that make backpacks should make better ones for men to carry.  It is not all a woman’s job.
3. Do NOT talk to your child in that baby goo-goo sounds.  Talk like a normal person. 
4. Try to involve your parents in your child’s life.  Believe me that your children need as much support as possible.  And grandparents are the best. 
5. Understand that your wife will suddenly be pulled in fifty directions and all you can do is try to help.
6. Make your relationship with your wife a priority.  Set up babysitting services so that you can get out of the house.  Remember that your love is what keeps your family afloat.
7. Your baby will love to be held.  Get used to doing things with the baby on your hip.
8. Try to get everything you need done around the house before the baby comes.  Set up the baby’s room.  Do any kind of repairs that need to be done.
9. Realize that you are new at this.  You will make mistakes accept it.
10. Become more creative.  Learn new jokes and songs.  When you and your wife are down because you are so tired.  Do something to lighten the load.

I was over at my friends CopMama and I saw this great meme she does.  She has a prompt for this week that I just couldn’t stop thinking about “Tell us about a time you did something absent minded as a Mom!”

My thoughts immediately went to:  When haven’t I done something absent minded as a parent.

Isn’t that awful that was the thought that went through my head?  I think it is but let’s be practical it happens all the time.  Let’s be truthful too.  It happens to me.  It happens to my friends.  It happens to you most likely.  I don’t want no pointing fingers that it doesn’t.  I’m assuming.  OK I know the saying that goes with assuming so if I’m wrong then I’m an cow’s butt. 

Seriously think about this:

You are working hard on your bills.  Trying to get them all done.  Trying to squeeze that last dollar out to pay this or that.  Getting frustrated because that last dollar is just not going to come out no matter what you do.  And this conversation happens:

Pumpkin:  “Mommy?”

Me:  “Go talk to your dad”

Pumpkin:  “Mommy, Monkeyboy hit me.”

Me:  “Pumpkin, I’m busy go talk to your dad.”

Pumpkin:  “MOMMY MONKEYBOY HIT ME!” 

At this point, you are frustrated not thinking about it all.  Wanting to pay that bill and the nagging child is NOT helping.

Me:  “Go play!”

Next thing you hear is Monkeyboy screaming as he comes down the stairs. 

Monkeyboy:  “Mommy, Pumpkin just hit me.”

Me:  “Go tell Daddy”

Monkeyboy:  “Can I hit her back”

Me:  “Leave me alone!  Go play.”

Did I intentionally tell them to hurt each other?  No I didn’t.  Was I even really concentrating on them while I was paying the bills and my absented minded husband was watching tv?  No probably not.  Did them hurting each other (though not bad) result from this?  Yes I’m sure it did.  Will it happen again?  Yes I’m sorry to say I’m sure it will.  Did I mention that I’m human?  Well I am.

Please join us for Mama’s Guilt Mondays at CopMama.

You know how you always get gifts from people for your kids that you would never buy? Well that’s what happened to me. Pumpkin got a tattoo kit for Christmas. I put it aside thinking I would wait until the spring or summer use it with them. I figured lots of water would be necessary to wash it off. The fact that there are markers in that kit was also a good indication that lots of cleaning would be involved.

As normal on Saturday morning, I got up to go shopping and left the kids with my husband. They knew where the kit was an immediately set to telling him that they needed to play with it. Ok now wouldn’t you think that he would be bright enough to know that if they were going to play with it that he should be involved? Well he did at first. Then he got bored with it. He wanted to do something else. So my clueless husband told them that they could play with it and do what they want.

Let me tell you.. I came home to Monkeyboy and Pumpkin both being covered in ink. I’m not talking mildly. I’m talking flowers and marks on their faces, their arms, their stomachs, their legs, and anywhere else they could find. Monkeyboy had this thing around his wrist of like markers just going round and round. Pumpkin had this huge glob in the center of her forehead. She told me it was a flower. It was a disaster. They had literally just had a ball with it. And they still had the markers that came with it up in their rooms?? I guess he wasn’t thinking about the color walls that we were going to have.

Now I asked him about it. He said well it will wash off. Wash off.. are you kidding me? Yeah right it will wash off. We started giving the kids baths on Saturday afternoon. I think they got more baths than we could get water for. Monkeyboy was complaining because he didn’t want anymore baths ever again. That boy loves water so that was new. I kept picturing sending Pumpkin into school looking like this. I kept thinking about what the kids would say to her not to mention what the teacher would think. Finally Sunday evening these markers came off of them. So yes the package says it is washable. It is but it takes forever.

Don’t you just love it when you leave them home alone with a responsible adult??

I really do love him. Monkeyboy is such a wonderful child but could someone please slow him down? I just simply don’t know how to handle it. He never stops. Pumpkin and he are the complete opposites. I was used to this little girl that was calm and peaceful. Now I have a 4 year old that doesn’t stop. I mean HE DOESN’T STOP! He is running or getting into trouble all the time. I thought Pumpkin’s 2′s were bad. I had no clue what 4′s would be like with Monkeyboy. He has times where he gets so mad. Now he is starting to hit. We went to the mall today and he hit 3 little girls. I have no clue why. I made him apologize and then put him in the corner for a while. If you can call it that, I made him sit next to me and watch everyone else play. I didn’t think it would be fair to make Pumpkin leave since she didn’t do anything wrong.Oh well, that helped get the frustration out of my head so I’ll go run again after him.

Wow its amazing to see how different 2 children can be. Pumpkin is pretty laid back. Monkeyboy is, on the other hand, never stopping. Why is that kids try to mess with you more when you are outside with friends? Monkeyboy will not listen at all when he is outside. I’ve have tried everything. I have even put him on time out when we are outside. Now to do that, I literally have to catch him (which you know is hard) and make him sit down next to me. Then you have to stop him from getting up the entire time he is down. LOL 3 minutes never felt longer in my life.